I decided to go all out for today's theme at school. Just in case you didn't get a chance to check out my contribution on Rebel Reasoning last week, I've added it to the end of this post. Guess which number I'm mocking.
Bye for now.
I don’t know about you, but I love this time of year. What’s not to love? In honor of this holiday season, I decided to list my five most favorite holiday annoyances.
5. The jammed packed isles that were never meant for two carts to maneuver around at the same time, let alone the forty eight that resemble bumper cars fighting for dominance.
4. The same holiday cd of the ten most obnoxious songs that every single store purchases and then sets on repeat for our listening pleasure.
3. The woman in line in front of you that feels it’s necessary to wear every tacky holiday wear she could possibly scrounge. Wearing the knit sweater with the ugliest design of Santa all over the front apparently wasn’t enough. Said woman had to jazz it up a bit with enormous dangly earrings that jingle every time she moves her head. Usually hanging from each wrist is a bulky holiday beaded bracelet that never matches the equally hideous necklace. And to top off the ensemble is the red bow attached to a plastic head band the she insists on wearing even though her hair is military short.
2. The temperature outside is always cold enough to require a heavy coat and actually helps put you in a festive mood because no matter where you live, it just doesn’t feel right unless it’s cold. You enter the store with your warm winter gear on but within minutes you realize the temperature in the store is closer to a warm summer day. The scarf, hat, and mittens are the first to go when your body temp starts to rise. Soon after, the heavy coat gets added to the growing pile of winter wear in the cart. By the time you reach your intended department, you’ve shed your
festive sweater and you’re shopping in a sweat soaked t-shirt and jeans. The only thing missing from your ensemble are
the one dollar bills that you’ve earned from your performance. For some bizarre reason, shoppers don’t stock
up on single dollar bills before heading out to the stores.
1. Finally after trudging through the hordes of holiday shoppers, you arrive at the checkout. You’re exhausted, sweaty, and no longer in the holiday mood. In a monotone voice, the checker wishes you happy holidays without ever making eye contact because truly she’s more miserable than you and couldn’t care less if you found what you were looking for much less if you have an enjoyable holiday.